If you’re having a hard time filling your calendar and you really, truly are trying, maybe it’s time to take a close look at how you are approaching potential hostesses. You may be speaking up but not choosing the right words or the right delivery to encourage future bookings. If you are guilty of this, no worries; there’s no time like the present to change the way you are doing business.

I recently spoke with a party plan consultant who said that she averages 15 home parties per month. One month she actually had 35 parties booked. She said she frequently over books because she knows a percentage always cancels. This direct sales leader wasn’t just blowing smoke; the story was verified. She truly was very successful at getting home parties.

Why are some direct sales consultants able to fill their calendar and others can’t seem to get one booking to save their life? There isn’t just one reason. It’s likely a combination of factors, including geographic, one-income communities vs. two-income, unemployment, cost of living and other demographic aspects that can determine how likely guests are to want to become hostesses. Some issues you have no control over.

Change what you can control and don’t put effort into those things beyond your span of control.

Listen to yourself when you are asking potentials if they are interested in hosting a party. There are two major faux pas that will almost guarantee an open calendar (read: few or no bookings).

1. “…for me” – as in the consultant asks, “Will you have a party for me?” No, no, no, no, no. No. The hostess isn’t having a party for you, the consultant; the person who earns a commission from every item sold. The hostess would be having a party for herself. She would be the one who would earn free and discounted products. If the words “for me” are in your spiel, stop saying that.

2. “…do me a favor” – as in “Will you do me a favor and have a party?” This is similar to #1 above. In fact it often includes the words “for me” as well. “Will you do me a favor and have a party for me.” “Do me a favor” also falls under what not to say for the same reasons “for me” needs to be omitted from your vocabulary.

Change your mindset from what the hostess can do to help you to what you can do to help the hostess. In turn, your hostess’ mind set will change from “I have to have a party for [you]” to “I get to have a party.”

By rephrasing the way you are offering the opportunity to friends, family and guests to host their own party, you may find it a little easier to fill your calendar. It could end up being a quick fix to an ongoing problem.